Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
