I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
