So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
