So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
