the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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