I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
