Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
