lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I enjoy the company of your penis
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
