why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
