we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
