so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
