He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
