somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
