Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
