when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
