: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize