I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize