We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I touched a dick in church today
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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