You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
