So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
