"it" just moved
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
