Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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