Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
