yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
