So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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