i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
