so that wasnt chicken after all
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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