hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
