you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
