just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
