The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
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I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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