just survived the first fart of the relationship.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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