is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
