That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
