Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
