did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
