Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
