I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
