Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
