Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
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He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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