you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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