He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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