WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Little spoons don't ask big questions
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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