I'm drive I can fine osifer
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
