I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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