Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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