It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize