i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
