i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
