i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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