Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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