wakey wakey hands off snakey
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
