So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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