Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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