But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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