Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
