how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
