So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize