Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
