if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
