So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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