is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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