Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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