Define "chronic" masturbator.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
