I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
