Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
