I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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