lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
