last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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